Politics/In the News - THE Mega-Meta-Haiku *Explained*

Quite a display there!
I hope it's not your last, but
the first of many...
~J~

Breaking the Pattern
You have stumped me, sir.
Could I buy a vowel? Or,
maybe phone-a-friend?
~J~

Past, Future, Present
The campaign has bridged all three
As have these haiku
~R~

Thinking Outside the Xbox
Obama's campaign
has started placing their ads
In videogames.
~J~

They're Actually Quite Stressful
Unlike Legoland
or Disney World, "Swing States" aren't
as fun as they sound.
~J~

--------------------------------
A Future Present, Passed to You
See? This is fun, right?
Only took me a year to
Talk you into it :)
~J~

Time management
This is tempting but
I'll haiku more on Monday
Microsoft Excel
~m~

Politics/In the News - THE Mega-Meta-Haiku

“Spread the Wealth Around”?! NOOOOOOO!
This argument works
Because people won’t believe
Just how broke they are
~J~

Celebrity Endorsements
I couldn’t care less
how each Baldwin votes. Their films
denote poor judgement.
~J~

I think I’ll vote Blue
I live in Alabama
My vote is wasted

Powell and McCain
Each was a career soldier
But one lost his way

How can a tax plan
That is based on borrowing
Get us out of debt?

Experience Test
Why is it Obama fails
But Palin succeeds?

On November 4th
With heads bowed in disbelief
We will watch theft three

If Joe was a plant
To make Obama look bad
Why do we listen?

I’m a Democrat
I have lots of friends who aren’t
But we all suffer

We watched the campaign
At Al Smith’s memorial
We saw John McCain

Biden or Palin,
If the President is killed
Which one would you trust?

The RNC paid
One hundred and fifty K
For hockey Mom clothes?

The Bradley Effect:
Does Obama need to fear?
Are the polls correct?

The new agenda:
Afghanistan and Iraq
Can Bush add Iran?

We are told to fear
Al Queda and Taliban
I still fear the Klan

I have a plan for
the economic crisis
try debtfree.com

Why is it taboo
To tell folks you’re a Muslim
In America?

The Wall Street bail out
Was more a Socialist act
Than “spreading the wealth”

What about ACORN?
What happened to William Ayers?
Let’s try socialist
~R~

Quite a display there!
I hope it’s not your last, but
the first of many...
~J~

Breaking the Pattern
You have stumped me, sir.
Could I buy a vowel? Or,
maybe phone-a-friend?
~J~

Politics/In the News - منگل

**Action Hero Politics**

Campaigning Machine
Sent from the future
to stop "He who unites them".
The Palinator.
~J~

Lieutenant John McCain
Sure it's not McClane?
He never gives up either!
Yip-kai-yay, mutha---
~J~

There Is No Spoon
McCain let it slip;
The One..."THAT One"...close enough.
Here, have a cookie :)
~J~

Dispatch
On the campaign trail,
first, there's Haiku Monday. Then:
Epic Poem Tuesday
~Мир~

You Mean, Like Colin Powell?
I'd just like to say
That some rational people
Vote Republican
~P~

The Middle Name? Not so Much.
Obama's mom had
An odder first name than he:
She was called "Stanley"
~P~

In An Alternate Reality
Bob Barr stays in the
GOP and becomes king
Of the Elephants
~P~

Directly Quoting André Benjamin
"Why should I vote? It's
"Like choosing which bullet you're
"Gonna get shot by."
~P~

Directly Quoting Theodore Roosevelt OR It Takes a Palin
"Friends[...]I have just been
"Shot, but it takes more than that
"To kill a Bull Moose."
~P~

Obama vs. Palin for Main Street U.S.A.
Whose views are closer
(Alaskans or Hawaiians)
...geographically?
~J~

Politics/In the News - پیر

This election year -
So much good material...
So few syllables.
~J~

Obama or McCain?
Looks like 2 choices:
You can hope for a change, or
Just hope your guy lives.
~J~

Obama
I like the guy, but
Electing a messiah
is a bad idea.
~J~

McCain
Republicans are
Masters of spin. "Who us?
WHAT eight crappy years?"
~J~

It's hard at work but
I've been missing these haikus.
Here's one to start off.
~m~

Flake Rate
On Sunday morning
electoral politics
are no match for brunch
~m~

The Honorable Miss Alaska
"Caribou Barbie "
Call me "sexist", call me "pig",
But it's still funny!
~S~

Vote Vader '08
Together we all
Can rule the galaxy as
Parents and children
~P~

Vote Kenobi '08
Help me Obi-Wan:
Our most desperate hour?
You're our only hope
~P~

Vote Emperor Palpatine '08
Your feeble skills are
No match for the power of
The Force's Dark Side
~P~

You Don't Need to See Our Voter Identification
R2-D2 and
C-3PO are the droids
You've been waiting for
~P~

Vote Chewbacca '08 ('Cause Droids Don't Pull People's Arms out of their Sockets When They Lose)
I see your point and
Suggest a new strategy:
Let the wookie win
~P~

Identity Crisis
I used to be a
"Real American", then I
left my small town.
~J~

Financial Meltdown
As L.L. might say-
Yo! Don't call it a "bailout",
We'll be screwed for YEARS!
~J~

A Question for Conan
How are things in France?
I hear that your currency
Is still worth something...
~J~

Bailouts/Layoffs
When I crushed the roach
scuttling by, I understood
how Corporate views me.
~JK~

A Dubious Honor
Jack-o-lantern sneer
in place for the debate, he
out-scaries Cheney.
~JK~

Animated McCain
Beet-faced warrior.
His ears become kettle-spouts
Of sound and fury
~J~

Animated Obama
...and cherubim sing.
Cool-blue halo resting on
margins of error.
~J~

Priorities
The market crash makes
racism a luxury
no one can afford
~m~

Party aside
If the average Joe
was informed as the plumber,
we'd be in good shape.
~m~

----

Adding E[dot]S.
I think she'd appreciate,
and she's witty, too.
~m~

thanks for adding me
please be gentle when you judge
this is my first try
~E[dot]S~
...

I call this "Sarah: A Tryptich"

Sarah Palin: 1
mesmerized I gaze
at your hair, its shine and height
cannot look away
~E[dot]S~

Sarah Palin: 2
strange suspicion grows:
you are the only reason
I watched the debate
~E[dot]S~

Sarah Palin: 3
I've never wanted
someone I adore so much
to just disappear
~E[dot]S~

Party's Over...Here (re:Party aside)
For years we've all slept
behind the wheel, chasing the
American Dream.
~J~

----
Welcome E[dot]S-
Ms. Palin would be honored,
betcha by golly!
~J~

Homage to "Undecided Voter"
You're not sure? Are you,
As we understand the term,
A sensate being?
~JK~