Regular Schedules / The Daily Grind

My Money's Worth
Once I've brushed my teeth,
I might delay breakfast for
maximum value.
~J~

Leap Year
After 4 years, the
Gregorian calendar
gives us our change back.
~J~

The Future is Now
Our DVR
Makes the concept of "Prime Time"
quaint and obsolete.
~J~

My First Job
Nobody told me
that your lunch hour
includes travel time
~J~

Payday
On Friday at three
The check is in my mailbox
Remuneration
~m~

Sign of the Times
The phrase "like clockwork"
is meaningless now that our
clocks are digital.
~m~

Ides of April
While both are certain,
at least with taxes you know
when you have to pay.
~m~

Travel Time
You mean all this time
Lunch started when I left work?
That's preposterous!
~S~

New Job Blues
I've gotten used to
The monotony and grind
Of the job I have.
~S~

My Time
Standing at the stove
Listening to NPR
Cooking, relaxing
~S~

Media Wh*re
Watching Japanese
Movies, DVDs, TV,
Much better than sleep.
~S~

Pet Peeve #37
To be considered
"a season", a show needs more
than 10 episodes.
~J~

TGIF
Weekends were "Free" Time.
Now it's "Stuff I Couldn't Do
During the Week" time.
~J~

Tearier Relativity
When you're six years old,
a 5-minute time out seems
like eternity.
~J~

Moment of Silence
Let us pause, dear friends.
Philip will be taking a
haiku hiatus...
~J~

RE: Haiku Hiatus
"I've grown accustomed
To his emoticons," sang
Professor Higgins.
~Мир~

My Brother Has to Work on His Birthday
No birthday time off.
Age may come before beauty,
But duty trumps age.
~J~

Fantasy Island Itinerary
“Dear guests, please resolve
your lifelong issues before
the next guests arrive.”
~J~

Date Night
My true love and I
spent 10 long years not dating.
Pick you up at 8.
~J~

Direct Deposit
It’s like the love child
of the banking industry
and the Tooth Fairy.
~J~

Ethnic Combover
As my bald spot grows,
my monthly dreadlock-trimming
grows more infrequent.
~J~

Never Be Late Again
Why can’t subways be
built more like roller coasters?
Commuting!! Wooo-HOOOO!!!
~J~

Fiscally Fit
Subtle protection.
Like hushed wars of white blood cells...
Bills on autopay.
~J~

My 5-year-old Self Thought I’d Be Rich by Now
A great plan, but the
millionaire mountain-climber
market went under.
~J~

Software Evolution Theory
I guess I fear change.
I decline the free updates.
Remind me later.
~J~

Joint Custody in Hell
Every two weeks,
Damien spends the weekend
with his dad. Awk-waarrd.
~J~

The Zen of Marriage and Meals

Culinary wants

are tempered by compromise:

Burger meets Gouda.

~H~

Martha Stewart Ain't Got Nothing on My Mama

Mom raised nine children

Ensures hundreds more are schooled

And she bakes from scratch.

~H~

"Clean House", Curing OCD One Episode at a Time

There's a perverse joy

In seeing filthy dwellings

Purged through comedy

~H~